Splintfest DVD Trailer!

Splintfest 2009

Splintfest 2009
Jenkins v Reeser

Walk Now for Autism

What is Splintfest

"None shall know what heights of greatness they are capable of if there are no mountains before them to scale."
-Archibald Splintheimer, 1863

In any mans life, there will come a time when they must summon all the strength, courage and skill within themselves and compete for the greatest prize of all....immortality. We shall know when that time has come, as the calling will resonate within our souls and stir a passion within...a passion which was once thought to be lost forever. With no choice but to accept the call to arms, our warriors charge steadfast into the arena of fate, casting aside the fears and hesitation of lesser men. Onto what stage do they venture to seize the glory of victory and spoils of immortality? The greatest stage known to man...Splintfest.

Splintfest 2009 will showcase a head to head competition between Eric "The Holy Warrior" Jenkins and Tim "Commando" Reeser, two men at the pinnacle of their field. Each will be put through the same test to find out definitively who among them shall be known henceforth as the greatest splinter of their generation.

The competition will be broken up into 3 specific events and a panel of 3 judges will score the contestants. The contestant with the most points at the end of the event will be named Splint Champion of 2009.

Hosted by Yolo County Operations, Splintfest 2009 will be held at the West Sacramento station, with ceremonies beginning at 1200. The event is open to all and all are encouraged to come and behold one of the greatest spectacles to be witnessed by human eyes. Drinks and refreshments will also be served.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Get to Know the Judges Part 1: Walter Scruggs

Since Splintfests conception and through out its progression, there have been a myriad of difficult questions that must be asked and answered!  Does the Splinting arena have a retractable roof should we experience in climate weather during the event?  Is there enough electro-magnetic pull from the giant magnet being shipped from Livermore Labs to avoid degradation and subsequent instability of the valence electrons within our mercury ion rockets?  What about the judges?  Is it possible to judge splinting perfection?  The governing bodies of Splintfest 2009 have answered the latter question with a resounding yes!  There is too much currently at stake to have these centurions of Splintfest policies and procedures not deployed into action… and now, we at Splintfest 2009 proudly present our judges!
Walking through 555 Matmor Rd. gives one a sense of being.  A place where the aromas of the old country blend together in an olfactory symphonic arrangement as they waft through the summer breeze; telling a story of what once was.  I can see Jalisco in all of its vibrancy; the folklore of Ixtapa, and the soul of Vera Cruz.  You can’t fight the inviting sensation of community and food sure enough to tempt even the most stoic of individuals into a fit of epicurean indulgence.   This is Woodland, Ca, a place where our first judge not only resides, but is a stalwart defender of life and property. 
Woodland Fire Depts. own Walter Scruggs is a Manly mans man, so much of a man in fact that it must be written in scientific notation. He possesses the wisdom of a Mao Tse Tung, the bottomless depth of a David Hume, and the analytical prowess of John Von Nueman.  Mr. Scruggs was extremely excited with the prospect of serving as a Splintfest Judge stating.  “I have been everywhere, seen everything, and done everything… except Splintfest.  It is with great admiration and humbleness that I accept this position on behalf of the citizens of Woodland, Ca.”  Splintfest thanks you in advance for you contribution Mr. Scruggs.

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